"Love letter"

Greetings Dear Reader!

Do you happen to remember when I received a 'love letter' from a random person at the jail? (See Jail Video ) Well guess who was given the letter today in order to file away, dispose of or do whatever she cared to do? Yours truly.  Sooo...as promised earlier, here it is:

I know, I know. You can't actually read that, so I have typed the letter.  A few warnings first: do not drink anything while reading, do not read it out loud, do not read it while you are in the middle of a meeting, and most important....DO NOT COUNT THE SPELLING OR GRAMMER AGAINST ME!  You kind of lose some of the affect if I "correct" the letter so you will be reading it in all of its wondrous glory.  Also, please remember I would not be posting a letter or a picture of a letter from one of my clients.  I do not know this person and he does not know me.  I have not heard from him again (thank God) and I have no intention of writing him back.  With that being said, here you go:

To: My Dearly Beloved Black African American sister Ms. PD
From: your most undeserving interested young Black African American Bro Mr. Inmate
well Ms. PD I Don't mean to seem creeped out nor am I trying to be disrespectful or rude so forgive me if I seem to come off to Agressively forward toward you in any way. But iv allway been the type of young man to speak my mind. well Ms. PD I normally wouldn't have any intrest in Any chick "or female in. The law inforcement field period regardless of how Attractive They may look or not. But more so than a great outer Apperance you have a bad girls little Ms. Sneaky orra about you and I like That its something about you that just says sex" and murder l.o.l. but for real your are a very nice looking women. look all Bullshit Aside I would love to start over a New leaf with women with you I would love for you to be my lady friend until the good Lord above sees fit for you to find -another cause I know that I wouldnt be your first Nor would I Be your last. But I steel want my chance. well im going to be doing a little prision time here sortly and I would love to continue to write you As a penpale for Now and Nothing more cause like I said im turning over a New leaf yes im a convict yes im an x criminal sowhat your a lawyer l.o.l. yet people change o.k. love look if your married I respect that But still even the president cheat once in a while. look I had a lot of women in my time so you can say that I get round so Dont go there with me just get in the car and ride shut up and just let the radio play o.k. love. so Dont act like you never Ben downtown l.o.l. cause me myself you can find me any were from Holly wood to Holy Hood cause I know wHo and what I am I remember were I came from and what I had so Dont trip let me put a little Thuge in your life I want to share with you some of my Thuge passion so write me back as soon as possible yes" I have a little time on my hand but not enough for you to be acting ALL scared like Ill ruin your career or Damage your Image As A Lady of the law cause if you feel like that then you are the underserveing one in these matter's so go get yourself watered down come back to planet earth and fuck with beings we around here call humans cause right now you seem to be stuck on a planet called "to much Dam" law and order:" l.o.l. so with All that said I say this in Closeing look even if you turn me down At least be woman enough to let me know you can send me an fuck " you Letter or come see me and tell me face to face. Dont play cat got your tounge or ms. Scarry cherry like some inmature over rateD females would do.

ps. Im sending you a

coppy of A letter that I wrote

to one of my girl friend on valenti

ne's Day Tell me what Do you

Thing of it

Sincerely Mr. Inmate

The Priesident of real Nigga T.V.

Dot.Com "turn up" love"

"Dont Be Scared"

Yea, so THAT happened.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT



14-Year-Old Boy Choked, Arrested, and Prosecuted for Staring at Police | Equal Justice Initiative

I am ashamed to say that this young mans mother displayed way more restraint than I would have.  The public would have been recording the police whooping on me as I tried to peel them off of my child. 

Yes, I know, I should know better.  I am a professional, I am a lawyer, I am an officer of the court.  But chew on this thought for a moment: The police are supposed to be professional, they are supposed to protect and serve (don't laugh, I'm serious) they are literally officers.  I understand that everyone has their eyes on Miami Heat these days, but there is something going on in Miami-and across the nation-that should make you a little more hot under the collar than the Heat.

Be blessed. (and be careful, don't look at the police too long, you might get choked)

14-Year-Old Boy Choked, Arrested, and Prosecuted for Staring at Police | Equal Justice Initiative

Gideon's Army

July 1st, 2013
9:00 p.m.
HBO

"Gideon's Army"

Watch it before our nation's court system has a United States Constitution burning party on television.  I know you think I'm being impudent, but they have little mini-parties throughout the South almost everyday.

Gideon's Army (Dawn Porter on The Daily Show)

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT

I'm sorry

Wow. Just....wow.  That is all I can say about the article I read this morning.  There are certain situations that "I'm sorry" just cannot fix.  This is just one of them.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/brian-banks-accuser-ordered-pay-2-6-million-163746471.html

For the rest of the year, anyone who asks "how can you represent those people" will get slapped.

Brian Banks at Atlanta Falcons minicamp in April, 2013. (Getty Images)

And it will be premeditated ;-)

Blessings.

"387"

I want you to take a wild guess what the number 387 represents:

Not (of course) the number of days in a year, not the amount of my raise, and (as one of my fellow Gideon’s classmates guessed) the number of lovers I have had.  That number, dear reader, represents the number of people I currently represent.  If you are not appalled don’t worry, I am appalled for you. 

I told one of my co-workers the other day, personally I would not want to be represented by an attorney that has 386 other active cases going.  Even if that attorney spent an entire day, every single day of the year, on just one case, the research, reviewing the discovery, deciphering the law, visiting the alleged crime scene, speaking with victims, witnesses, law enforcement and the district attorney, never taking a day or not off, she would still be 22 days short of getting to all of her cases.

I hate to be the bearer of reality news here but public defense attorneys do not have the ability to spend one ENTIRE day, EVERY day to just one case.  My phone rings constantly, people drop by as if I have a revolving door and a welcome mat outside my office, six different judges can call and tell me they need me 5 minutes ago and I have to go.  There are clients at the jail you need to see, witnesses you need to speak with, evidence that needs to be reviewed, motions that need to be filed, procedures that need to be explained, and don’t forget, the phone is STILL ringing.

387 is a sickeningly high number. Part of me places the blame on the office; I sometimes feel we are the Augustus Goop of law.  We will continue to consume despite the fact that our gut is telling us we are full.  More cases? Pile it on. More clients? Pile it on. More charges? Pile it on. More, more, more…sure we will get sick until we throw up.  That just means there’s more room to consume.

Part of me places the blame on the judges.  I have had clients who CLEARLY should not have qualified for a public defender.  When you have to call my office from your home in Southwest Florida because staying in town was just too stressful for you and you needed to get away, you should not have a court appointed attorney.  When you walk into court with new acrylic nails and the latest coach bag, decked out and holding keys to a 2013 anything-other-than-a-Kia…umm…you probably should not have a court appointed attorney.  I know, I know, I have thought this through and I understand people’s current financial situation does not speak for their previous financial situation.  People could be in a tax bracket one day and a completely new tax bracket the next.  The people I am speaking of do not fall into those categories.  ‘Well, how is that the judges’ fault?’ you ask? Well, I’m glad you asked.  The courts have the ability, I would even dare to say the duty, to ensure that the defendant’s they send to us actually qualify for a court appointed attorney.  I believe that people who are given court appointed attorneys, be they public defenders or private counsel; do not deserve less zealous representation just because they cannot afford to hire an attorney.  But that is exactly what they are getting when the judge’s haphazardly throw everyone our way that asks for a public defender.

I realize that the real blame goes to the system. A system that believes a public defense attorney with 11-15 years of experience deserve no more than the starting salary of a new law grad going to a mid-size firm.  A system that fights tooth and nail when asked for the resources to defend the United States Constitution. 

Ponder this for a moment: The new lawyer at the firm will spend the first year of their career locked in a library, doing research and sending memos to senior level attorneys.  They will likely never meet a client and, if they are lucky, they will probably step foot into a courtroom once as an observer.  The first year public defender will spend approximately 1,744 hours in a courtroom. 

YEAR ONE OF LEGAL PRACTICE

Public defender = 1,744 hours in court = $38,000 = 387 clients

Private attorney = 1 hour in court = $70,000 = no clients

Just meditate on that for a moment.

387 is ridiculous.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT

Top X reasons why I love my clients

I received a bar complaint today.  I am PISSED to say the very least, but it has inspired me to write this list.  At times it may seem comical, and if it places a smile on your face that's cool...but I am so serious.  I will write about the complaint later...after I clear my name.

The reason for the 'X' in the title is because there are oh so many reasons why I love my clients that I am not sure how long my list will get.  I am confident that my list will grow, please feel free to make suggestions.

9. You believe ours is a relationship that will last forever. I must admit that I really love that about you. I love how you think that although I am not a 'real' lawyer, that I am, nevertheless, your life coach. You have a question about why the Department of Public Safety won't give you your driver's license back? Don't call them-call me. You want to know if your mama can just kick you out of her basement since you aren't paying rent, or does she have to legally evict you since you have your toothbrush in the bathroom? Reach out to yours truly. Somebody hit you and then just kept driving but you don't have insurance and now you don't know what to do because you need your car fixed? By all means, ring my phone. It's not like I'm busy. You need to know whose hiring? Don't bother the temporary services, employment agencies or the classifieds. Why would you do that when I so VERY clearly have the inside scoop on who is hiring, when and what it will take for them to hire you without you bothering to go there, fill out an application or speak with a manager. Can't find your social security card so you can get another driver's license? Social Security Administration tell you that you need documentation of who you are? They tell you to get some medical records? What KIND of medical records you ask....well hell, stop by my office, sign in, wait 30 minutes for me to come back from court so you can ask me. Because of course, I am Yoda and I know all. Think for yourself, do not.

8.  Because you think I am your homegirl.  You have been brought to court by a detention officer, notice that I have my cell phone and want to know if I will let you text your mom? SURE! O_o  Sigh...I am not your "ace boon coon."  Period.

7.  I love you Dear Client because you make referrals.  I truly appreciate you telling your uncle to give me a call and offer to hire me and pay me under the table.  It is nice to know that you want to reward the hard work I have put in on your case by potentially having me arrested or disbarred. (SN: I realize this is supposed to be a compliment, 'hey, my lawyer is great, here is her name and number' but all it does is remind me how much money I am NOT making when your uncle offers to pay me more than a month's salary to handle a case that, on its face, seems very simple.)

6.  You write the clerk for legal advice.  I know, this is my fault.  When I told you that I would let you know when I get an offer or discovery in your case, I was not clear.  When I introduced myself and gave you my card, I accidentally slipped you her card by mistake.  It's my bad.  Go ahead, make your admission/plea/foul language/CONFESSION an official part of the court record by writing the Circuit Court Clerk.  The only way you can help me out even more is by writing the Judge.

5.  I love you so much Dear Client because, despite our many talks about appropriate court attire, you are your own person.  You wear what you want to wear and damn the consequences.  Seriously, why should you have to change out of your bedroom slippers, replace your pajama pants with slacks or wear a shirt that covers your belly.  Everyone in society is a follower but NOT YOU! You? Oh you take the road less travelled, you dare to wear the skirt that shows every single one of your cookies when you sneeze. And good for you.  If the judge is going to chastise you for coming to court high, you may as well be repping the Mary Jane on your shirt. 

4.  Because you call me 5 times a day.  I love the sound of your voice.  I mean it.  That special way that you whine when I relay the horrible offer from the District Attorney, or the beautiful sound of the "ck" combination rolling off of your bottom lip when you yell "FUCK" into the telephone receiver.  Man there is NOTHING like it.  Really, your Tuesday is not complete until a client calls and calls and calls and calls and call and CALLS, just to ask you if anything new has happened in their case since their last court date.  Yesterday.

3.  You ask inappropriate questions.  Would you ask an attorney that you pay $200 an hour if they 'have a man'?  I'm sure you wouldn't, but you know what? You and I are close like that, we are kismet, practically soul mates, at the very least we are in the same tax bracket so why not get a little closer?  I know your life history, it only serves to reason that you would know mine.  Want my home number? Why not, all I do is sit up at night thinking about you so why not make it a party and let you know how to find my home.  What am I doing this weekend?  Have I ever smoked marijuana?  Is my man making me happy? Ask away, I love being grilled by you.

2.  I love you, Dear Client, because you stop by my office whenever your little heart desires.  Appointments be damned, I mean, who in the hell needs notice when you want to sit and chat for an hour?  All I'm doing is sitting in my office, twiddling my thumbs and wondering why in the hell you didn't show up unannounced sooner!

(http://www.etsy.com/listing/85973337/dictionary-art-love-quote-vintage-oh-how)

1.  Because you file bar complaints against me after you have spoken with your jailhouse lawyer.  I know that I am the scum of the earth because you did not have to pay for me, of COURSE it makes sense that someone you paid in cartons of cigarettes and bags of Doritos would have a better professional education that yours truly.  I mean, I am only 'good enough' for gov'ment work, THEY are down in the trenches getting close to their clients.  I realize that when I have truly, TRULY made it, I will stop working for a paycheck and start working for what actually matters.  Extra fish sticks.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT

...and....

I attended a law school that is HUGE on advocacy.  There are more than a few students that wind up participating in trial competitions, moot court competitions or negotiation and mediation competitions.  Scholarships galore and support from the community make participating in advocacy-based programs more attractive.  If nothing else can be said, no one can dispute that Cumberland School of Law prepares you to be an effective advocate.

In addition to the general atmosphere of the law school being pro-advocacy, the coaches that the school brings in are phenomenal!  My coach taught me more than I could have ever possibly hoped to learn on my own. 
Rule #1 in trial advocacy? "Listen, listen, DAMMIT listen." 
Rule #2? "Why doesn't matter"
Rule #3? "Do NOT ask a question you don't know the answer to...unless the answer doesn't matter."

There are many more "rules" of trial advocacy and really I subscribe to the camp that you are either someone that has 'IT' or you don't.

SSSSoooooo, I said all of that to say, there is an Assistant District Attorney in our jurisdiction that does not have 'it' anywhere in her little body.  One of the things you learn early on (if you have good coaches or helpful upperclassmen that are willing to guide you in the right direction) in the process is you do not start all of your questions with "and."  As a matter-of-fact, you shouldn't start ANY of your questions with 'and.'  So as I sit in trials with her month after month, it burns that special spot on the upper-right corner of my stomach to hear her ask questions:

"...and was that during the day or at night?"

"...and did you see the defendant?"

"...and what was the defendant wearing?"

"...and can you tell us what happened when you first came into contact?"

"...and what did he say?"

"...and what did he do?"

...and...

         ...and...

                  ...and...

...aaaaannnnndddd....you get the point.  Now, imagine sitting      through hours of that.  You want to gouge your eyes out with a dirty, bent, rusty nail, don't you?

I am very, very thankful for the education, both formal and informal, that I received at Cumberland.  I wish I could send her there.  It might make sitting through trials with her a little more bearable.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT