Thursday, October 3, 2013

Motion of discovery

I should be wearing this today:


I hate, I hate, I HATE when clients (or their family members) say boldly and with a tinge of indignation in their voice:

"I want my motion of discovery."

Today was just a bad day for me to hear it. I know, I am not supposed to take my bad days out on my clients, or anyone for that matter; but I am human. My client came in demanding his motion of discovery....so I gave it to him....


...not the discovery.



...



...



...the Motion for Discovery.



I know. I'm bad.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, never consent and never confess.

~LT

Saturday, August 17, 2013

¿no habla ingles? Great, welcome to America.

Two weeks ago I experienced the worst thing I have yet to experience in my journey of becoming a public offender (Read the explanation behind my title here).  I represented a client who had been fighting a DUI charge for over a year.  Everyone, I mean EVERYONE, assumed (strike 1) that Mr. Client spoke Spanish.  Hell, even our Spanish-speaking receptionist spoke to him in Spanish.  Mr. Client had his first trial and was found guilty.  Mr. Client decided (we think) to appeal, eventually the original attorney retires and yours truly ends up representing Mr. Client.

Mr. Client is a nice, quiet, married, father-of-one, hard-working construction man.  He doesn't make waves and he doesn't demand a whole lot.  Maybe that was problem number one for me.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in the people who, despite your advice, suggestions and then outright demand, still call you from the jail. 

Everyday. 

Twice a day. 

Even on the weekends. 

It is so easy to focus an entire day on the young man or woman whose mother, father, uncle, baby daddy, baby mama, grandma (granddad's never come, for some reason) decide to stop by the office and want to beg, plead, cry or demand that something be done on that person's case, yesterday.  It is, sadly, so easy to let the quiet ones coast by and I take full responsibility for that screw up.

Every time Mr. Client came to visit me he brought his son with him to 'translate' (strike 2).  Son is 17 years old and seems pretty bright, he claims to understand what I am saying and alleges he is communicating that to his father.  I spent the early part of my elementary school years in Germany, my father speaks English and German, my mother is Jamaican so I spent years trying to learn Patois, my children speak French.  With that being said, Spanish was never on my radar, so I do not know the difference between Mr. Client's son telling him what he thinks I said versus telling him what I actually said. 

For over a year I am having meetings with Mr. Client and "conversing" with Mr. Client in court, confirming that he wants a trial in his case.  Tuesday, August 6, 2013, I get the phone call, "I am calling Mr. Client's case for trial this Thursday at 9am."  Ok great! I inform the court that they are going to need a court interpreter, the interpreter is located and she gives me a call, "Hey Ms. PD, I just wanted to know if I could meet with you and your client tomorrow afternoon." We schedule our meeting and I shove everything else on my desk aside in order to tie up the loose ends in my trial preparation for Mr. Client.

Wednesday afternoon, Mr. Client arrives before the interpreter and without his son.  Well, that's ok because one of our part-timers speaks Spanish so we meet as we wait for the interpreter.  During the meeting I notice our part-timer keeps looking at his phone.  He is doing me a favor so I don't want to call him out but I am thinking "I KNOW this fool is not texting during my trial prep!"  After about half an hour he asks if he can speak with me outside.  We step out of my office and he informs me he is of the opinion that Mr. Client does not really understand what is going on, he believes it may have something to do with the fact that he only completed the first grade in Guatemala O_O but his comprehension does not seem to be that great.  He then informs me that he pulled his phone out during the meeting because I found that he had to look up some of the words the client was using and part-timer had to describe some of the words he was using to the client O_O That was likely problem number two for me.

Whew...interpreter has arrived. I love her, she is our go-to person and she has GOT to be making a killing because everyone wants her.  There are other interpreters in the area but there is just something about her, you trust her, the clients trust her, the judge's trust her, und so weiter.  Ms. Interpreter introduces herself to Mr. Client, I explain to her what the case is about and what our meeting will cover.  About 60 minutes into the conversation I am called out of the meeting.  When I return Ms. Interpreter has a concerned look on her face.  Apparently, Mr. Client got a LOT more chatty once the mean-looking American woman walked out of the room and Ms. Interpreter hits me with the bomb....HE DOESN'T SPEAK SPANISH! O_O Definitely clue number three for me that I have some problems here.

Mr. Client is from a little village in Guatemala where they speak...wait for it... Q’anjob’al  ...I know, I know...I said 'what the hell' too.  Of course, I immediately inform the court and we go on an all day adventure trying to locate a court certified interpreter who speaks Kanjobal (I discovered about 5 or 6 different ways to spell the name of the language).  Finally, we locate a local EMT who was born and raised in America (so he speaks English) but whose parents were born and raised in Guatemala (and it just so happens they taught him Canjoval)!  Whoo hoo, we're cooking with grease now, right? WRONG!

This guy arrives and starts conversing with the client and I can immediately tell his son has not translated one word I have ever said to him.  Then I can immediately feel my stomach drop into the bottom of my colon because this is about to be a big mess.  The judge gives us 15 minutes to converse with our client and the interpreter.  After 15 minutes he calls us all in and the interpreter tries to tell the judge that a 30 minute conversation in English can take upwards of 4 hours in Canjobal because all of the English words do not exist in Mr. Client's native tongue (strike 3).  So the judge decides he will give us a little more time, but he wants to relieve the jury pool for lunch.  He calls them in and apologizes for the long wait, tells them he wants to release them for lunch and then tells them the reason they waited so long was because of an interpreter problem O_O (<--I made that face a lot over the course of the week).  Well, the prosecutor is black, the Deputy is white, the two defense attorney's are black and white, but wait....that little brown guy over there...the defendant...yeah, he's probably the one that needed an interpreter, so he is the reason we have been waiting all day. SIGH....so now I have to call the judge out on tainting the jury pool.

Let me address for a moment some of the things I have learned judge's do not like (all of these are not from personal experience).  Judge's do not like attorney's being late, judge's do not like being placed on hold by the DA's office, Judge's do not like being transferred to voicemail when they call and ask to speak with the DA, judge's do not like when defense attorney's tell their clients to hide because there is a warrant out for their arrest and, finally, judge's do not like being called out on the record.

On the record, myself, my co-counsel and my supervisor had to inform the court:
*15 minutes is not long enough to speak with a client you just realized did not speak the language you have been using to communicate with him for the past year
*it is unfair to revoke a clients offer from the state when, apparently, the client didn't know what offer he was turning down
*it was clear to the jury pool who needed an interpreter and now they will be looking at Mr. Defendant crossways when this pending trial takes 2 weeks to complete

There was a lot of name-calling and finger-pointing by the judge and he eventually removed our office from the case.  He found it hard to believe that this man was allowed to go through this entire system without understanding anything that was going on.  His exact words were "the system is not that flawed" O_O

He found it hard to believe that our office was incompetent enough to not realize that someone was not speaking Spanish, but instead was speaking a Mayan dialect that it took our court-certified Spanish interpreter over an hour to pick up on,

He could not believe we would throw another attorney under the bus by suggesting he had the first trial without the client knowing what was going on.

This went on for hours.  When we were finally dismissed my supervisor told me that I could take the day, he could tell I was emotionally and mentally drained.  Though I advocate for my clients everyday, that was the first time I had actually actively turned into a public offender.  I did not care if I offended the court, I did not care that the clerk was upset about having her jurors there when there was not going to be a trial, I did not care that the jury had been waiting in the hallway all day long.  My client did not understand what was going on, the court did not seem to care that he did not knowingly, intelligently or voluntarily do ANYTHING involved in his case up to this point so dammit I was going to cover him.

As horrible as the experience was for me, I cannot begin to imagine what my client was going through.  The whole process made me wonder what good am I really doing?  I was part of the problem.  I should have asked better questions, I shouldn't have trusted his son, I shouldn't have assumed, I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have...

My client spent a year thinking I was the prosecutor until the EMT explained to him, in his native tongue, who I was.  He and his wife smiled at me for the first time.  And then the judge took me away from him. 

The last day I was Mr. Client's attorney, I asked him what he thought having a trial meant.  I mean, every time I asked if he wanted a trial the answer was "Si", but if you do not know what is going on, how can you keep asking for a trial?  His response to my question? "It means to go free and try again."

I'm not ashamed to say I came home, opened a bottle of Moscato and cried.

Hard.


Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Duh Judge...Crack is Whack!

This morning in District Court I am standing against the side rail waiting to let the judge know I have finished with all of my clients so I can be excused.  As I am standing there I hear the following conversation:

Judge:  Will you pass a drug test?

Defendant: Yes sir, I will.

Judge:  If you took a drug test today you would pass it?

Defendant:  Yes sir, I sure will.

Judge: (who has now turned around to his computer) Ok, well I am going to have you drug tested today so don't lie to me.  Are you still maintaining that you will test clean today?

Defendant:  Oh yes sir, I don't do any drugs!

...

...

...

Defendant:  I just smoke a little marijuana.

Judge: (who has whirled around in his chair and is facing front again at the mention of the word marijuana)  Marijuana?!

Defendant:  Yes sir.

Judge:  You smoke marijuana?

Defendant:  Yes sir, about two weeks ago.

Judge:  So how come when I asked if you would test clean today you told me 'yes'?

Defendant:  (leaning in, looking at the judge like he is stupid) BECAUSE I DON'T SMOKE CRACK ANYMORE! 

Crack is WHACK

Judge: CRACK?!

Defendant: Yes sir, I used to smoke crack, I don't smoke crack anymore, I only smoke marijuana.

Judge: So crack is a drug...

Defendant:  Yes sir

Judge:  ...but marijuana is not?

Defendant:  I don't consider it a drug.

Needless to say, I ended up excusing myself because I could not hold in my laughter any longer.

You just can't make this stuff up.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Objection...ummm...ummm...

Despite my family's hope and desire, I do not ever anticipate being a judge.

Never. 

Ever. 

Ever.

Of course, I would appreciate the pomp and circumstance of "all rise" and "yes, your Honor", "no, your Honor", "may I approach", und so weiter.  Nobody stands to their feet when I walk in the room and they sure don't ask before they approach me.

Setting my own schedule? Great.

My word being the final say? A woman's dream.

Sitting high and looking low? Ok, I don't really care about that part, but you get the point.  I can imagine it is pretty great being the woman in charge in the courtroom.  However, judges do one thing I cannot imagine ever doing...sitting through an entire trial without participating.  One of my client's was the victim in a case so I sat through the trial with her as "moral support."  (Ok, so I was really there to make sure that she didn't say anything to incriminate herself in her felony case but po-tay-to, po-tah-to).  Sitting through an entire trial where I cannot ask any questions or make any objections was one of the WORST professional experiences in my life.  The most traumatic part of the trial was when the defense attorney went halfway around the world to make his FOUR WORD OBJECTION!

DA: Why do you think she would say you pushed Mrs. Defendant if you didn't?

Def. Atty.: Objection, your Honor.

Judge:  Ok, what's your objection?

Def. Atty.:  Well..ummm, she's ummm...asking him to ahhh...answer a question about what someone else ummm...thought or ahhh...was thinking...

This explanation went on for about 20 or so more words before the defense attorney decided he had sufficiently explained his objection. 

"Well, her question was improper" you're thinking.  "He did have a valid objection" you're saying.  Well grasshopper, you would be correct.  You want to know what my problem is with his bumbly objection?  Try this on for size...

OBJECTION, CALLS FOR SPECULATION.



Neat, clean and to the point.

Done and done.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

"Love letter"

Greetings Dear Reader!

Do you happen to remember when I received a 'love letter' from a random person at the jail? (See Jail Video ) Well guess who was given the letter today in order to file away, dispose of or do whatever she cared to do? Yours truly.  Sooo...as promised earlier, here it is:


I know, I know. You can't actually read that, so I have typed the letter.  A few warnings first: do not drink anything while reading, do not read it out loud, do not read it while you are in the middle of a meeting, and most important....DO NOT COUNT THE SPELLING OR GRAMMER AGAINST ME!  You kind of lose some of the affect if I "correct" the letter so you will be reading it in all of its wondrous glory.  Also, please remember I would not be posting a letter or a picture of a letter from one of my clients.  I do not know this person and he does not know me.  I have not heard from him again (thank God) and I have no intention of writing him back.  With that being said, here you go:

To: My Dearly Beloved Black African American sister Ms. PD
From: your most undeserving interested young Black African American Bro Mr. Inmate
well Ms. PD I Don't mean to seem creeped out nor am I trying to be disrespectful or rude so forgive me if I seem to come off to Agressively forward toward you in any way. But iv allway been the type of young man to speak my mind. well Ms. PD I normally wouldn't have any intrest in Any chick "or female in. The law inforcement field period regardless of how Attractive They may look or not. But more so than a great outer Apperance you have a bad girls little Ms. Sneaky orra about you and I like That its something about you that just says sex" and murder l.o.l. but for real your are a very nice looking women. look all Bullshit Aside I would love to start over a New leaf with women with you I would love for you to be my lady friend until the good Lord above sees fit for you to find -another cause I know that I wouldnt be your first Nor would I Be your last. But I steel want my chance. well im going to be doing a little prision time here sortly and I would love to continue to write you As a penpale for Now and Nothing more cause like I said im turning over a New leaf yes im a convict yes im an x criminal sowhat your a lawyer l.o.l. yet people change o.k. love look if your married I respect that But still even the president cheat once in a while. look I had a lot of women in my time so you can say that I get round so Dont go there with me just get in the car and ride shut up and just let the radio play o.k. love. so Dont act like you never Ben downtown l.o.l. cause me myself you can find me any were from Holly wood to Holy Hood cause I know wHo and what I am I remember were I came from and what I had so Dont trip let me put a little Thuge in your life I want to share with you some of my Thuge passion so write me back as soon as possible yes" I have a little time on my hand but not enough for you to be acting ALL scared like Ill ruin your career or Damage your Image As A Lady of the law cause if you feel like that then you are the underserveing one in these matter's so go get yourself watered down come back to planet earth and fuck with beings we around here call humans cause right now you seem to be stuck on a planet called "to much Dam" law and order:" l.o.l. so with All that said I say this in Closeing look even if you turn me down At least be woman enough to let me know you can send me an fuck " you Letter or come see me and tell me face to face. Dont play cat got your tounge or ms. Scarry cherry like some inmature over rateD females would do.

ps. Im sending you a
coppy of A letter that I wrote
to one of my girl friend on valenti
ne's Day Tell me what Do you
Thing of it
Sincerely Mr. Inmate
The Priesident of real Nigga T.V.
Dot.Com "turn up" love"
"Dont Be Scared"
Yea, so THAT happened.
Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT


Saturday, June 22, 2013

14-Year-Old Boy Choked, Arrested, and Prosecuted for Staring at Police | Equal Justice Initiative

I am ashamed to say that this young mans mother displayed way more restraint than I would have.  The public would have been recording the police whooping on me as I tried to peel them off of my child. 

Yes, I know, I should know better.  I am a professional, I am a lawyer, I am an officer of the court.  But chew on this thought for a moment: The police are supposed to be professional, they are supposed to protect and serve (don't laugh, I'm serious) they are literally officers.  I understand that everyone has their eyes on Miami Heat these days, but there is something going on in Miami-and across the nation-that should make you a little more hot under the collar than the Heat.

Be blessed. (and be careful, don't look at the police too long, you might get choked)

14-Year-Old Boy Choked, Arrested, and Prosecuted for Staring at Police | Equal Justice Initiative

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Gideon's Army

July 1st, 2013
9:00 p.m.
HBO

"Gideon's Army"

Watch it before our nation's court system has a United States Constitution burning party on television.  I know you think I'm being impudent, but they have little mini-parties throughout the South almost everyday.

Gideon's Army (Dawn Porter on The Daily Show)

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT