Today is my three year anniversary with the public defender's office. The anniversary of my continued participation in the United States justice system, small as it may be, is a discouraging one.
I was always the first to pipe up and tell anyone willing to listen that I became an attorney to help people, I never expected to get rich because (let's just be honest) the careers where you can make a difference in someone's life AND make a great living are few and far between. Here lately though, I find myself wishing I would have just "chased the money." "But why?" you ask?
this, this, this, this, this, this and this.
It is so disheartening, discouraging and scary to know that these things are happening. Any small victory I may have is only a drop of clean water in an ocean of oil and muck. I wish I could say it's just the police officers, but it isn't. I get tired of seeing the same names pop up on new files, I get tired of clients giving me excuses about WHY they committed their new offense, I get tired of prosecutors who think the solution is to lock up everyone and I get tired of feeling like my client will come out worse for the wear if they actually have a decent case and need to demand a trial. I am tired of phone calls from mothers and drop ins from girlfriends.
It breaks my heart that I am not as excited and gung-ho about my role in this machine called the "justice" system, but I'm not. I want off, I want out.
Sorry no roses and rainbows today folks.
Until next time,
Be blessed, be careful, never consent and never confess.