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Thursday, August 15, 2013

Duh Judge...Crack is Whack!

This morning in District Court I am standing against the side rail waiting to let the judge know I have finished with all of my clients so I can be excused.  As I am standing there I hear the following conversation:

Judge:  Will you pass a drug test?

Defendant: Yes sir, I will.

Judge:  If you took a drug test today you would pass it?

Defendant:  Yes sir, I sure will.

Judge: (who has now turned around to his computer) Ok, well I am going to have you drug tested today so don't lie to me.  Are you still maintaining that you will test clean today?

Defendant:  Oh yes sir, I don't do any drugs!




Defendant:  I just smoke a little marijuana.

Judge: (who has whirled around in his chair and is facing front again at the mention of the word marijuana)  Marijuana?!

Defendant:  Yes sir.

Judge:  You smoke marijuana?

Defendant:  Yes sir, about two weeks ago.

Judge:  So how come when I asked if you would test clean today you told me 'yes'?

Defendant:  (leaning in, looking at the judge like he is stupid) BECAUSE I DON'T SMOKE CRACK ANYMORE! 

Crack is WHACK

Judge: CRACK?!

Defendant: Yes sir, I used to smoke crack, I don't smoke crack anymore, I only smoke marijuana.

Judge: So crack is a drug...

Defendant:  Yes sir

Judge:  ...but marijuana is not?

Defendant:  I don't consider it a drug.

Needless to say, I ended up excusing myself because I could not hold in my laughter any longer.

You just can't make this stuff up.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.