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Thursday, August 1, 2013

Objection...ummm...ummm...

Despite my family's hope and desire, I do not ever anticipate being a judge.

Never. 

Ever. 

Ever.

Of course, I would appreciate the pomp and circumstance of "all rise" and "yes, your Honor", "no, your Honor", "may I approach", und so weiter.  Nobody stands to their feet when I walk in the room and they sure don't ask before they approach me.

Setting my own schedule? Great.

My word being the final say? A woman's dream.

Sitting high and looking low? Ok, I don't really care about that part, but you get the point.  I can imagine it is pretty great being the woman in charge in the courtroom.  However, judges do one thing I cannot imagine ever doing...sitting through an entire trial without participating.  One of my client's was the victim in a case so I sat through the trial with her as "moral support."  (Ok, so I was really there to make sure that she didn't say anything to incriminate herself in her felony case but po-tay-to, po-tah-to).  Sitting through an entire trial where I cannot ask any questions or make any objections was one of the WORST professional experiences in my life.  The most traumatic part of the trial was when the defense attorney went halfway around the world to make his FOUR WORD OBJECTION!

DA: Why do you think she would say you pushed Mrs. Defendant if you didn't?

Def. Atty.: Objection, your Honor.

Judge:  Ok, what's your objection?

Def. Atty.:  Well..ummm, she's ummm...asking him to ahhh...answer a question about what someone else ummm...thought or ahhh...was thinking...

This explanation went on for about 20 or so more words before the defense attorney decided he had sufficiently explained his objection. 

"Well, her question was improper" you're thinking.  "He did have a valid objection" you're saying.  Well grasshopper, you would be correct.  You want to know what my problem is with his bumbly objection?  Try this on for size...

OBJECTION, CALLS FOR SPECULATION.



Neat, clean and to the point.

Done and done.

Until next time,

Be blessed, be careful, don't consent and don't confess.

~LT